weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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