I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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