I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
