when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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