You're completely useless in the revolution.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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