If that was your dad, he is hot
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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