Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
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Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
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I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize