It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
