i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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