Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
