I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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