Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
