i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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