they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
