I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
