you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize