I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
