You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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