We're facebook friends in real life
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize