I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
pray to the hookup gods
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
