At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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