this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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