Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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