she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't think brook has ever known best
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
