wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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