I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.