your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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