Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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