I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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