I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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