Sry I called you an 8
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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