Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize