Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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