I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
