But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
