Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
