Come see our sink grown plant.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
