I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I would fuck him just for his dog
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
