The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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