my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize