I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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