I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
