I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
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Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
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the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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