So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
