Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
