amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
