We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
