...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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