K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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