I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she looked like the before picture.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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