If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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