She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
