Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
im six kinds of drunk right now
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
