Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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