Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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