Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
