Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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