my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
