Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
